I Love My Voice

As a child I was often told to be quiet. I had this uncanny ability to project my voice over any size group of kids. No matter how loud they were, I could always be louder. I can remember one hot summer day in Houston, I was playing with a group of kids in our apartment complex. The playground just happened to be in front of our apartment, so my mom always made sure she kept an eye out for all the kids who happened to be playing there. I cannot recall what game we were playing but I do remember clearly that I was "in charge". I found myself in that position often and it earned me the nickname, "Sarge" by the manager of the complex. We were having a good time and I did my best to keep every one of my friends on track, so that the game went smoothly. For quite some time I was explaining the rules to some of the kids that got away from the object of the game. Then I heard my mothers
voice yelling:

"Camille, COME HERE!"

Well, it was never good when she said that. That meant get in the house double time, without delay! So quickly, I ran into the house, and in between pants I answered, "Yes ma'am".

Now my brother and I had this theory that if we came to see what our mother wanted, and left the door open she would talk fast and we could go back out to play.

It never worked.

So, I am standing there, waiting for what seems to be an eternity. My mother looked at me and said, "Camille, you are too loud. I can hear you over all the other kids on the playground. Quiet down, it is not necessary to be that loud. Boys don't like loud girls."

First let me say, my mother meant well. It was her intention to raise a lady. This went along with her lectures about wearing a dress, perfume and not having chipped nail polish. I am truly grateful that my mother loved me enough to do all she knew to point me in the direction of becoming a lady. Thank you Mommie.

At that time, however, I didn't see that. I walked back outside with my head hung low and did everything I could to be as quiet as possible. It was the day, I believe, that I began to silence my own voice. As I got older, I stopped speaking up and eventually I began to speak in such a low tone that people could not understand me. Then I met this DJ.

I was 17 years old and a senior in high school. I was in a stage of trying to "find myself". We had a pep rally and one of the local radio stations hosted the event. Afterwards, we met the DJ's and they signed autographs. One of my friends grabbed me by the arm and forced a now very shy Camille to ask for an autograph. I bent my head down slightly and handed Paco my bumper sticker. He asked me who he should make it out to and I answered, "Camille". He stopped, looked at me and said, "Wow!" "You've got a fantastic voice girl!" I giggled, said thanks and took my autograph. Later I read what he wrote, "to Camille, one of the sexiest voices I've heard in a long time." That absolutely floored me! (it floored my Dad too)

I needed that. I still do. That moment did not totally change my view of my voice. It still took years before I appreciated my deep, contralto voice. But, I remember that moment often and it always brings a smile to my face.

My brother is younger than I am and sometimes people think he is older, because, he did the talking for us whenever we were in a room full of people. I spent a lot of my formative years hiding in the shadow of others for fear that I would be too loud and be labeled a big mouth, loud mouth girl. Finally, my brother looked at me and declared,

"You have a voice that deserves to be heard in this world."

That stayed with me. It still does. Each day now I remind myself that my voice is important and that God made me with a booming voice for a reason. It is part of my purpose, it is essential to my destiny. I no longer view my voice as a negative attribute, but rather as a precious gift that God saw fit to give me because I would know what to do with it.

I no longer hide in shadows of others, nor do I speak so low that no one can hear me and my husband loves the sound of my voice.

God has charged me to speak loudly and declare His wondrous works, to cry aloud like Jeremiah and spare not!

I have a voice that deserves to be heard in this world, and I love my voice!